Month: April 2025

Times have changed…
And we’ve often rewound the clock
Since the Puritans got the shock
When they landed on Plymouth Rock

If today…
Any shock they should try to stem
‘Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock
Plymouth Rock would land on them

In olden days we had three branches
Of government; what were the chances
They’d fold?
Now anything goes

The Congress gave him all their powers
The Supreme Court sits back and cowers
In black robes
Anything goes

The world has gone mad today
And good’s bad today
And black’s white today
And day’s night today

And that gent today
Elected yesterday
Grins and thumbs his nose

They granted him too much autonomy
Now we’ve got a sunk economy
In the throes:
Anything goes

Our friends in NATO used to love us
But now they want to quickly shove us
Down a hole
Anything goes

Just think of those shocks you’ve got
And those stocks that flopped
And those blues you’ve got
From those news you’ve got

And those pains you’ve got
(If any brains you’ve got)
From those online data flows.

We never laid this many tariffs
But it looks like Congress doesn’t care if
Trade has froze
Anything goes

As markets fell with assets gutted
The President stood by and putted
Into holes
Anything goes

You want diversity?
At university?
Promoting equity?
And inclusivity?

Then those grants you see
Becoming history
Your budget decomposed

Republicans continue pandering
Noses brown and minds meandering
In repose
Anything goes

Computing now the price of groceries
Pocketbooks just can’t get over these
Ratios
Anything goes

If Tesla cars you like
And going to Mars you like
If billionaires you like
If orange hair you like

You’ve all been fooled
And now you’re cruelly ruled
By a philandering gigolo

You’ve let that orange-tufted monkey
Make your precious 401(k)
Decompose
Anything goes

So wipe your nose it’s inexcusable
Let us conduct Constitutional
Reimpose
Anything goes.
Anything goes.

By Jim Lengel, ’71
With thanks to Cole Porter, ’13

The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises…To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations

From Article 2, Section 8 of the US Constitution, 1789

The Congress shall have power,
The document is clear
To set and levy tariffs
On goods from far and near.

So Congress, do your duty;
Reclaim your sacred power;
Our immature Executive
Gets worse with every hour.

Back in the beginning
Tariffs were all we used
To finance our new country;
Seldom much abused.

Somewhere in our history,
Congress passed its power
To manage foreign commerce
To the President; it cowered.

Economy worsening every day
Markets crashing quickly,
Prices rise, the more we pay,
Employment sluggish, sickly.

Our trading partners horrified,
Our factories slowing down,
Congress, do your duty:
Rein in this raging clown.

Becca Balint, Bernie Sanders,
Peter Welch and All:
Act now: restore your power,
And save us from a fall.

Senators, congressmen, please heed the call:
Don’t stand in the doorway, don’t block up the hall,
For he who gets hurt will be he who has stalled:
There’s a battle outside and it’s raging;
It’ll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls,
For the times, they are a changing.

Bob Dylan

It’s tax time again, I don’t believe it,
Ten-forty awaiting its fill.
But will anyone be there to receive it,
With the IRS vacant and nil?

Will anyone care if my standard deduction
Is double what it should be?
Perhaps this year we’ll see a reduction
In how much they’ll get from me.

Me and everyone else you see
Know that the IRS
Has no one left to enforce the law;
Our country’s in a mess.

So here I am, the boxes filled
With numbers false and true;
I’ll file my form, my secrets spilled,
But who do I give it to?

It’ll end up in some empty room
With its brothers and sisters in piles,
Ignored there in the lonely gloom
Without an employee for miles.

Government efficiency
Has gutted the IRS.
With this foolish inconsistency,
We’ll all be paying less.

Tariffs in the morning,
Tariffs in the evening,
Tariffs at suppertime.
Pay those hefty tariffs,
And watch the prices climb.

Honey, it’s expensive,
Tariffs are extensive,
Paying them all the time.
Oh my little honey,
These tariffs are a crime.

Take back those pesky tariffs,
And keep our prices down.
I really wouldn’t care if
We dumped that evil clown.

Tariffs on your TV,
Tariffs on your EV,
Tariffs on your pickup truck;
Everything cost more now,
We’re really out of luck.

Tariffs on your lumber,
Your wine and your cucumber,
Tariffs on your whiskey, too;
Our friends don’t like these tariffs,
They’re bad for me and you.

Tariffs on your plumbing,
Tariffs on your clothes;
Maybe more are coming,
But no one really knows.

Dryers and dishwashers,
Boy it makes me nauseous,
Tariffs on everything.
On cars and phones and cameras,
On sausages and springs.

Tariffs on bananas,
Tariffs on pajamas,
Tariffs on your underwear.
High prices gonna slam us.
But Washington don’t care.

Economic chaos,
Convoluted trade,
Nobody will pay us;
We’ll watch our fortunes fade.

Tariffs in the morning,
Tariffs in the evening,
Tariffs at suppertime.
Pay those hefty tariffs,
And watch the prices climb.